What a Wanker

I had a brief pointer to people having sex with their cars in a previous entry. That was pretty risible, but at least the folk involved were left alone to get on with their vehicular onanism. By way of a follow-up we now have have someone actually getting punished for pleasuring their bicycle. Of course what we actually have is a man pleasuring himself with said bicycle. Another way of looking at this is that a man was having a wank, by himself, in a locked hotel room.

For this Robert Stewart got hauled up in front of the local beak, Sheriff Colin Miller, who put him on probation for 3 years, and on the Sex Offenders Register for the same amount of time. He's now a convicted criminal, and officially a nonce. He's doubtless had his DNA taken by the police, and his job prospects ruined.

All for having a wank. In private.

It's not Mr Stewart who is the wanker here.